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作家相片Badiucao 巴丢草

Day37 Wuhan Diary 武汉日记

2020.2.28 Day 37 of the Wuhan City Closure 中文日记最下




The weather has changed again. We had rain the last two nights. There was a strong wind too and I didn’t sleep very well.

According to official reports in recent days, there are still three to four hundred new cases or coronavirus in Wuhan each day. Many of us are very puzzled. It has been more than ten days since we closed our communities off from one another. Why are there so many new cases each day? Where did these new cases come from? Some people say they comes from nursing homes and prisons. If so, does it mean that our confinement to our homes may be lifted? I don’t know, I don’t know what to believe, but I am still afraid and doubtful. The city closure has lasted nearly 40 days. Living with anxiety and panic so long is too much for us ordinary people.

Two days ago a friend who lives near a nursing home told me that that day many ambulances came to pick up over a hundred elderly people. It was terrifying just to hear her describe that scene. The spread of the virus in a nursing home is just like a house visit by the Angel of Death.

I love my friend dearly. If her nerves had not be so dulled, personally witnessing such a scene would leave an indelible mark in her heart.

Yes, and there are the prisons too. How could it have been that that Ms. Huang who was released from prison on February 22nd just happened to be infected? Just thinking of the probabilities involved, I don’t dare think what could be going on in the prison. And how was she able to leave Wuhan on February 22?

Last night I saw interviews with several homeless people in Nanfengchuang. They were

forced to stay in Wuhan because the city had closed. They found shelter in some underground passageways. The report reads:

After 2 PM on February 24th, over ten people came to the passageway. They connected a water pipe and washed the entire floor. After nearly an hour, the flushing people left and Gao Qiang returned to “rescue” his luggage. His luggage was all wet, including sheets on the floor, quilts, and a “cotton coat he had gotten from the Red Cross” two days ago. He didn’t want to part with the cotton coat so he put it on an iron rod at the entrance way to dry off. Seven people lived in the passageway. They were all stranded in Wuhan and couldn’t afford to stay in a hotel. When flushing started, they saw the that the clothing they used as a bedspread starting to get wet, but didn’t want to make a complaint because the people who came wore city regulatory enforcement and inspection uniforms. “

I want to say something, but couldn’t find the words. I just want to ask why, why can “humans” treat members of their own species in such a cruel and insensitive way. All I can do is to record this truthfully. When he read what I have written again in five or ten years, I will still being to feel the powerlessness I feel at this moment I will see it five or ten years later. I hope feeling of powerlessness will help keep me from being assimilated into that numbness.

During the period Wuhan has been closed, released prisoners have been allowed to leave Wuhan. All migrant workers can do is wander around Wuhan far from home. You could say that there this is the modern-day version of that old saying “The roads leading to the mansions of the unimaginably wealthy are paved with the dead, frozen bones of the poor. ”

I watched a video on Phoenix Satellite TV of an interview with a truck driver. Driver Xu said that he has been living in his car since January 31 transporting goods into Hubei. Fearing infection, he return to his home area but did not go home. His quilt and necessities were all in his truck. The highway rest area had no food so every day he only ate snacks to fill his stomach each day.

He said that if I left and went home he would have to go into quarantine so he decided it would be better to just keep on driving his route.

When I see the stories of these ordinary people tears come to my eyes. I am really, really thankful to them. I hope that every and every one of these ordinary people will be remembered. They are China’s very attractive side. They are what makes China great, not the state and not the Party.

One piece of news that made me especially happy today; Sun Yang was suspended from international competition in swimming for 8 years.

He’s an outright CHEATER, and I’m glad to see what he got. It’s a pity that I can only mention my happy mood to my diary. I definitely dare share it with my circle of friends or my WeChat group.

After all, I saw in many WeChat groups today that statements like “this is political persecution and has nothing to do with stimulants”, “foreigners are jealous of his talent”, and “people just want to block his career and will stop at nothing to do it”.

Seeing the video of Li Zehua being taken away, the word “idealism” in the commentary pierced my heart. The well-honed egoistical excuses children make nowadays are surprisingly well thought out. Having read much of it, I have become a bit numb. Unexpectedly hearing the words “idealistic” from such a young and handsome boy actually astonished me much to my surprise.

Sorry, I shouldn’t be biased against good-looking boys.

Li Zehua, a graduate of a prestigious university, once worked for CCTV. I believe he has better resources than most people his age and can make “smarter” choices than most of his peers. I also believe that he understands better than most people that what he is doing is “digging his own grave”, yet he still “stupidly” chose that path. I admire his bravery. I couldn’t do that.

The last message he left was very well-spoken. Yet despite his fluency, I could still clearly detect notes of fear. But we should be free people and free from fear. I really would like to share that video with friends inside China’s Internet Firewall. His words are the most vivid explication of our times. But I dare not do so.



2月28日 武汉封城第37天


这几天天气又变了,下了两晚雨,刮了一宿风,觉也睡不踏实。

最近几天的官方通报,武汉地区每天仍然有三四百例的新增,我们很多人都很疑惑,封闭小区已经十多天了,为什么每天还有这么多新增?这些新增是哪里来的?有人说是来自于养老院和监狱,如果是这样是不是意味着我们的禁足可能会解除了?我不知道,不知道可以相信什么,只是依然感到恐惧和疑虑。封城近40天了,对于我们普通人来说焦虑和恐慌已经太久了。

前两天听住在养老院附近的朋友说起,当天去了好多救护车,接走了上百位老人,光是听她转述都觉得胆寒。养老院里的病毒传播,无异于死神登门拜访。

我好心疼我的朋友,只要不是痛感神经过于迟钝,亲眼看到这样的场景恐怕会在心中留下难以磨灭的创伤吧。

是了,还有监狱,为什么22号出狱去北京的那位黄女士刚好就是一位感染者,从概率上来说未免也太经不起推敲了。以及,为什么22号她能离开武汉?

昨晚看到《南风窗》对几位流浪者的采访,他们因为封城滞留在武汉,只能寄居于地下通道。报道中写道:

2月24日下午2点多,通道里来了十多个人,他们接上水管,冲洗了整个地面。差不多一小时后,冲水的人走了,高强下去“抢救”他的行李。他的行李全湿了,包括铺地上的床单、被子,还有两天前“红十字会送的棉大衣”。他舍不得棉大衣,拿出来晒在出入口的铁杆上。通道里住了7个人,他们滞留在武汉,又交不起钱住在旅馆。冲水的时候,眼看着被盖衣物要被淋湿,但他们不敢上前,因为“来的人穿着执法人员的制服”。

我很想说什么,但是找不到语言,我只想问为什么,为什么“人”可以这样残忍麻木的对待同类。我能做的却只有把这些如实记录下来,五年、十年以后我再看到,还能记起我此刻的无力,希望这种无力感可以让自己不被麻木同化。

封城期间刑满释放人员可以离开武汉,外来务工者只能流落异乡。

可以算是当代的“朱门酒肉臭,路有冻死骨”了吧。

看了凤凰卫视对一位陆运货车司机联线采访的视频,司机徐师傅说1月31日起一直住在车上,运送物资六进湖北,因为害怕感染,回到家乡也不会回家,被子、生活用品全在车上,高速公路服务区没有吃的,每天只能吃零食充饥。

他说,出来一趟回去也要隔离,不如多跑几趟。

我看这些普通人的故事眼窝会特别浅,特别、特别感谢他们。希望每一位这样的普通人被记住,这个国家可爱的一面,是因为他们的存在,伟大的是他们,而不是国家,不是党。

记一条今天让我特别开心的消息:孙杨禁赛8年。

他就是一个彻头彻尾的CHEATER,我很高兴能看到这个结果。可惜这种高兴的心情只能在日记里悄悄记下来,我是绝对不敢在朋友圈或者微信群里发的。

毕竟我今天在好多微信群里看到“这是政治迫害,跟兴奋剂没有关系”“外国人嫉妒他的才华”“人家就是要封杀他,不管用什么手段”。

看到李泽华被带走时的视频,那段话里“理想主义”四个字把我的心扎了一下;现在的小朋友们那套精致的利己主义的说辞常常让我叹为观止,看得多了,甚至有些麻木。乍然听到“理想主义”四个字从一个这么年轻、这么帅的男孩子嘴里说出来,我竟然觉得诧异。

对不起,我不该对长得好看的男孩子有偏见。

李泽华,名牌大学毕业,曾经供职于央视,我相信他比他的大多数同龄人有更好的资源,能够做出更“聪明”的选择,我也相信他比很多人更明白自己的行为无异于“自掘坟墓”,但是他却“愚蠢”的选择了这条路。我佩服他的勇敢,我做不到。

最后的那段留言他说得非常流利,但我从“流利”中能清晰地听到恐惧,而我们,本该有免于恐惧的自由。

我很想把这个视频发给墙内的朋友们看一看,这是对我们所处的这个时代最生动的注释。但是我不敢。

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