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Day33 Wuhan Diary 武汉日记

2020.2.24 The 33rd day of Wuhan lockdown 中文日记最下

It’s Monday again. I never liked Mondays, because it means I have to go to work. I didn’t think that one day I’d miss it and wish I could get back to work sooner.

I was watching last night’s episode of Phoenix Televisions‘s Leng Nuan Ren Sheng(also known as Secret Documentary, The Fortunes, or C’est La Vie )’s newest season on Humans of Wuhan. I saw the familiar buildings on the screen, what used to be busy, crowded streets are all empty now, like an uninhabited city. It’s hard to find the words for all the feelings I have inside.

The episode features a few out-of-towners stuck in Wuhan, they live in shabby motels, mulling over their expenses. There was a girl asking the reporter when they thought the lockdown would be over, but the reporter had no clue. The girl told them that she could only sustain another week or so of spending, and nothing longer. It has been a month since, don’t know how this girl is doing now, it is heart wrenching to think about.

The “Little Pinks” on Weibo love to post the phrase “This golden age is whatever you want it to be.” In reality this golden age is fragile, and we’re all but ants.

Coincidentally, shortly before and after the lockdown, I watched Leng Nuan Ren Sheng’s coverage on SARS 10th year anniversary twice. I watched that season so many times, never once I thought I would be living a life like that. I looked up SARS 10th years anniversary while writing this journal, and found that there’s no search result for the show anymore. And the documentary Phoenix Panorama’s season on SARS was missing its 5th episode. A little surprised- yet, not unexpected. They don’t want people to know that history repeats itself, doing this is a bit over-the-top suspicious.

Maybe in ten years, there would be a documentary on Wuhan that’s censored on the internet. What would I be feeling in ten years when I’ll be reading back to this journal entry?

Last night I also saw a report by Dr. Zhang Bo Li and his team on the combination of Western and Traditional Chinese medicine drastically decreasing mortality rate. I read through all of the data points diligently, to say that this is an “encouraging” finding is disingenuous.

This report introduces the medical team’s treatment information, according to its data, they treated 52 patients total, 34 in the group treated by a combination of Western and Traditional Chinese medicine, and 18 in the group treated by only Western medicine. The result: the former group has two cases that require intensive care (7.4%) and three deaths (8.8%), while the latter group has 6 cases requiring intensive care(46.2%) and 7 deaths (39%). Thus, the combination of Western and Traditional Chinese medicine drastically decreases mortality rate.

Takeshi Kitano, a Japanese filmmaker that I admire, once said: “a disaster is not one event that kills twenty thousand humans; it is one human-killing event that happens twenty thousand times”. I think this quote tells people to understand and empathize based on a “human” perspective, rather than to treat humans as the background of a grand narrative.

We need to take note of another story. I saw in the news that the government of Guizhou province provided care kits to its medical aid team in Hubei. There were electric blankets, thermos mugs, thermal underwear, shampoo, body wash, hair dryers, nail clippers, and even two different kinds of slippers (cotton and shower slippers), as well as feminie products, such as sanitary pads. The Governor of the Guizhou province is a female.

I am very grateful for the existence of this kind of leader. But it is actually pathetic to expect good results on an individual’s competence and morals.

A nurse friend of mine told me a story. Her good friend is a nurse in the ICU and some patients in the ward would cough and yawn towards the nurses intentionally.

A former classmate told me that her uncle is still unwilling to wear face masks while strolling on the street and playing mahjong with other people. My classmate’s mother calls her little brother every day, trying her best to persuade him and intensely arguing with him, but all in vain. My classmate has to report to the mayor hotline where her uncle plays mahjong.

The community worker friend of mine tells me about an old man in their community. He tries different ways to get outside, argues with community workers and even spits to them, no matter how hard they try to convince him to stay at home.

I also saw videos online in which pedestrians were taken away by the police, who did not wear masks and did not listen to any advice.

My mind is quite messy. I used to consider reporting one’s own uncle would be a shameful and “anti-human” behavior. I would consider that overly-barbaric and violent enforcement violates human rights. But when I am being trapped in a cage by the virus, when we who obey the rules lose our freedom and serve “life sentence” because of those people who disobey the rules, I wish, deeply concealed in my heart, that there is an “alternative way” and an “obliging force” to make them obey the rules.

I do not want to be a hypocrite advocating power. I just do not know where to draw the line, and that may not be an answer I can give after all. Maybe the fundamental problem is we do not have the right to draw this line.

I ordered a Harry-Potter-themed Golden Snitch pendant at the end of last year. The shop assistant at the store tells me that the order has arrived today and I can pick it up when the outbreak is over.

I intended for it to be my new year’s present, but it could turn out to be a mid-year gift. Nevertheless, it feels not bad to be alive while expecting something wonderful.


Stories like this couldn't get more interesting. People could even publish them in a book called "tales in a lockdown city".

Here's another strange story. My WeChat got frozen early in the morning. When I clicked login it showed "complained by multiple people and confirmed to have irregularities". Do you know what's vicious about this line? it's they tell you that you have been stabbed behind your back by multiple (they emphasize) friends, without revealing who those friends are or what irregularities, needless to mention the chance to appeal. The boundary of my self-expression is forced back. What's worse, I planted the seeds of doubt and hatred among my hundreds WeChat friends. I choose to ignore this "reason". For me, all that matters is not this reason, but what I choose to believe. So I choose to believe I've touched some secret filtering switch of keyword. And this so-called reason is only a malidious strategy designed to encourage people to fight one another. I can't let this word become a prick in my heart only to further weaken my faith in this world. Of course, I will implement my self-censorship more cautiously.

Last night, Dr. Huang Wenjun from Xiaojin City Central Hospital's respiratory department passed away.

Read another piece of news this morning: a 28-year-old murder case in Nanjing city is solved. I first thought it was the body-dismenbering case of Diao Anqing from Nanjing University. Found out it wasn't after further reading. No matter what, the deceased could finally rest in peace, with perpetrator arrested.

However, for all those lives taken away by the novel coronavirus, what has to be done to comfort them?























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