2020.2.14 The 23rd day of Wuhan lockdown 中文日记最下
Today is Valentine’s Day, my original plan was to go to Hubei Theater and watch opera “Qin’s Moon”. But now my days are just like paused. Three meals reduce to two meals a day, do some easy exercise after wake up, have brunch, read books, remember vocabularies, take dinner, finish diary, watch movie then go to bed. I’ve lived day like this for three weeks. I’m having a regular life which I never had after graduated from senior high. I sleep early and wake up early, drink no coke and milk tea, eat no junk food, I assume I’ll have this kind life again after my retirement. However, life without junk food is without fun.
It had been raining all night yesterday, the sound of heavy rain made me sleep poorly, and I was waken by one raging thunder at six o’clock. While having lunch, my mom told me there’s an old saying“thunder in January, skulls make hill “. I checked lunar calendar, today is January 21st. I felt cold suddenly, and I got goose-bumped.
Since the day before yesterday, Wuhan lock down each neighborhood officially. This didn’t affect my family at all. Since I am the only person who throw garbage and take packages, my parents has never stepped outside for 23 days. Even myself couldn’t remember when was last time I went out. And also no one was really administrate our neighborhood, everybody could go in and out freely. I have a wechat group with my old friends inside, these friends separated in Wuchang, Hankou and Hanyang(three towns of Wuhan). Every day we discussed and compared the anti-infection measures of each neighborhoods, my neighborhood rank last definitely.
But I have no intention to criticize all community workers in Wuhan. I know they have faced huge risks and pressure, and many of them have been infected during this time. I have heard many misunderstandings and abuses towards them, and these pressures have gone beyond their responsibilities and capabilities.
A few days ago, there was a notice of seeking help shared online: an old man with Parkinson’s disease was left alone at home without any help. His wife passed away due to the COVID-19. His children and grandchildren were away from Wuhan, in hospital or in quarantine. The notice left the telephone number for the community office. My friends away from Wuhan even shared it with me and asked if there was any way to help. Coincidently, I happened to have a friend living in that community and I asked her about this. She told me a completely different story: the children of this old man never cared about him. The grandson, who was perfectly healthy, lived in another building in the same community. The old man lacked independence due to his Parkinson’s disease and the children of the old man expected the community to offer the care matching the standard as a nurse’s, which was apparently not realistic. I do not want to make a “plot twist”, neither do I believe what my friend said was 100% “fact”. I just want to say grass-root community work is really petty and complicated. Human nature is elusive and unpredictable.
But the saddest part is the old man himself. I heard from a friend that he passed away the next day he was admitted to a hospital.
No matter what, lower-class people should not harm each other.
A few days ago, a former classmate’s community purchased rubbing alcohol in big bottles and asked me if I wanted some. I hesitated but refused at the end. A 5L bottle was too big for my household. I was surprised that my classmate managed to re-packaged a smaller bottle and drove over to deliver it to me. This really met my urgent need.
When the whole Wuhan was locked down and the virus made everybody anxious, my friend sent me the most urgent thing I needed at the moment. I will remember this kindness in my lifetime. I noticed an abnormal thing that the rubbing alcohol could even be group purchased online. On the other hand, the seller cancelled my order of some alcohol wipes today which I placed a week ago. The seller told me that all their stuff had been requisitioned by the government. This was not the first time I got this kind of message. My friend tried god knows how hard to get an order of 300 face masks, however, the seller cancelled his order minutes before they were to be delivered due to government requisition. I had asked my friends who were working in hospitals about the medical supplies, and they said hospitals were still significantly lacking in everything. Meanwhile, a lot of protection stuff could be group purchased online. Who is on earth blocking citizens to buy things via a normal way, but forcing us to buy through a “special way” at much higher prices? Why are hospitals still short in medical supplies, even after the government has requisitioned a lot of them and a lot of protections have been donated all over the world? What happened in between? I don’t know why. I may never know.
During the meal, my family talked about the epidemic prevention work in Qianjiang, Hubei, which many people are praising currently.
Mom: Qianjiang's approach illustrates that the leader is a person who dares to undertake responsibility and thus ought to be promoted.
Me: The fact that he did well will act as a foil to other cities, if those leaders aren't doing so well, I'm afraid they will be pushed aside.
Mom: How can that be! When someone can't even do it well himself, how can he forbid others to do well.
Me: This "well" depends on who says it. These officials are all answering to their leaders, their superiors, not to us the common people.
Mom: The ordinary people all expressed their opinion! Shouldn't the leaders listen?
Me: It doesn't matter what the citizens say, these officials are not selected by citizens whatsoever.
My original thought was, since it has already gone so far, and then the next logical step should be “one should have the right to choose their leaders”. I never thought that...
……
Mom: Nevertheless I still think if someone wants to be a leader he should get there by his own effort!
…....
For a brief moment, I was at a loss for words.
I watched a Taiwanese drama last night, and there was a line: “How much one understands freedom, is how much freedom one has”
2月14日武汉封城第23天
今天是情人节，原本的计划是下班后去湖北剧院看舞台剧《秦时明月》。
然而现在的日子却如静止了一般。
三餐缩减为两顿，每天起床后简单运动，吃早午餐，看书、背单词，晚餐，完成当天的日记，看电影，睡觉。
如此往复，已经循环了三周。
我过着从高中毕业后就没有过的规律生活，早睡早起，不喝可乐、不喝奶茶、不吃垃圾食品。恐怕我下一次过这样的生活得等到退休以后了。
然而，没有垃圾食品的人生了无乐趣。
昨晚下了整晚大雨，噼里啪啦的雨声让人睡不安稳，早上六点多更是突然被一声劈天巨雷惊醒。
中午吃饭的时候老妈告诉我，老话里讲“正月打雷人骨堆”，我随手翻了翻日历，今天是农历正月二十一。
突然就觉得阴恻恻的，浑身起了层鸡皮疙瘩。
从前天开始，武汉正式封小区了，这件事对我家没有什么影响，一来我家除了我会出门扔垃圾、拿快递，我爸妈已经整整23天没有出门了，我自己不看日记都想不起上次出门是什么时候；二来是因为——我们社区根本就没有人管嘛，小区仍然自由出入。我有一个微信小群，群里是认识了很多年的朋友，分散在武汉三镇，我们每天都在群里更新对比各自社区的防疫措施，毫无意外我们社区永远垫底。
但是我无意因此否定全武汉的社区工作人员，因为我知道他们承受了非常大的风险和压力，他们中的很多人也已经在这段时间的工作中感染。我听说了很多误解和辱骂，而这些压力原本就超出了他们的职责和能力。
前几天有一个求助在网上流传：一位已经感染的帕金森老人，老伴因为新型肺炎去世，他的子女儿孙不是在外地，就是住院或隔离，只剩老人一个人在家无人救助，求助中还留下了社区办公室电话。我的外地朋友们也专门转发给我，问武汉本地有没有什么救助渠道。说来也巧，我正好有位朋友住在这个社区，就问了她，没想到听到的是完全不同的故事：老人的子女对老人一直不管不顾，而且老人健康的孙子就住在同一个小区的其它楼栋，社区其实也一直在给老人家里送菜，只是老人有帕金森缺乏自理能力，老人的儿孙对社区的工作要求是达到护工的标准，但是这显然是不切实际的要求。我不是想制造一个所谓“反转”的故事，也不是认定朋友的讲述就是100%的“事实”，我只是想说社区的基层工作非常琐碎而复杂，人性更是无法琢磨的东西。
最可怜的是老人，听朋友说老人入院的第二天就过世了。
无论怎样，底层不应该互害。
前几天同学的社区团购了大瓶装的医用酒精，问我要不要，犹豫再三后我还是拒绝了，对我家而言5L的容量实在是太多了。没想到同学专门分装了一小瓶，今天趁着出门采购开车给我送了过来，着实解了我的燃眉之急。
在武汉全城封锁，每个人内心都盘桓着病毒的阴影时，我的朋友专程给我送来了我此时最需要的东西。这份情意我会一辈子都记得。
说起来市面上团购的医用酒精我一直很奇怪。我上周在网上下单了一份酒精湿巾的订单，今天全额退款了，店家告诉我货物全部被政府征用，这已经不是我第一次遇到这种情况了，我的朋友辗转买到的300个口罩也在寄出前因为征用被取消订单；我也问过在医院工作的朋友，各个医院现在仍然是各类物资奇缺；但是同时市面上又有大量货物在团购交易。到底是谁在逼着我们普通百姓无法从正常渠道，一定要通过“特殊渠道”高价来买到这些东西呢？为什么在政府征用了那么多物资、各方的捐助也源源不断的时候，医院却还是缺乏物资呢？这中间有什么故事？
我不知道。我可能永远也不会知道。
吃饭时家人聊起这次很多人赞赏的湖北潜江的防疫工作。
我妈：潜江的做法说明他们的领导是个敢承担责任的人，应该提拔。
我说：他做得好只会衬托出别的城市、别的领导做得不好，恐怕会被排挤。
我妈：那怎么行！自己做得不好还不许别人做得好么？！
我说：这个“好”要看谁来说。这些官员都是对领导的、对上级负责，不是对我们这些老百姓负责。
我妈：老百姓都说好！他们领导难道不听？！
我说：老百姓说好有什么用，这些当官的又不是老百姓选的。
我本来想着，已经引导到这个地步了，下一步总该得出“还是应该有选举权”这个结论吧，万万没想到——
我妈：还是应该当领导往上爬！
……
我竟然一时语塞，不知该说些什么。
昨晚看了一部台剧，其中有一句台词“对自由有多大的理解，就有多大的自由”。