Day28 Wuhan Diary 武汉日记

2020.2.19 28th day of Wuhan lockdown 中文原文如下

Today is supposed to be the day of The Lion King Broadway musical’s premier in Wuhan, it was also supposed to be the premier in China. I’ve been looking forward to it for a long time. I remember waiting for the ticket to go on sale to nab a prime seat, looking back I feel a little dazed.

The show came out with return policies already, but I still want to wait to see if they’ll delay the show, and get my ticket exchanged for that instead. If nothing else, I hope that my ticket will be a witness to history.

The Good Doctor, An American TV show that I love, its first season tells a story of a patient who is a porn actress attending college, seeking treatment for pain in her genitalia. Under normal circumstances, the most direct treatment would have served her nerves causing her to never orgasm again. The doctors in the show thought hard and found solutions to preserve her sensation.

I thought of this story when watching recent news. Talking about orgasms, even sex worker’s orgasms, these kinds of topics are super distant for mainland Chinese women. For women here, talks about menstruation and pads in public are filled with shame. Here when volunteers brought period underwear and pads they bought for female medics to their hospitals, the head of the hospital would turn them down saying “we have no need for it”. Here female medics would have their long hair shaved off in front of the camera like an execution, the lense points at their faces capturing their sorrow, almost teary expression, for materials promoting “unity” and “the fight against the epidemic”.

In reality, the female medics being used for propaganda aren’t the only ones who are in these kinds of predicaments, the people in infected areas are in similar situations. With supermarkets no longer allowing individual customers to enter, many communities are organizing groups to buy supplies. Most groups are out to buy groceries, a few are for household products. Unfortunately I haven’t seen a group for buying period pads, at the same time there are girls in my local WeChat group asking around for where they can buy pads every day.

If the female medics were the only group being neglected, then blame could be placed on those in power lacking empathy. But when you look at the daily supply purchase groups neglecting feminine products, you can tell that disregarding women is the norm, and within people who practice these norms, there are women too.

The exploitation of female medics, which was supposed to be a tribute to the authorities, became a topic of anger and doubts in mainland China. But I think that the neglect of women’s need in acquiring daily supplies is more representative of the norm. Especially in times like this where “women’s rights” are maliciously slandered within the great firewall, a woman naturally, gracefully stating her needs, something as simple as that is met with obstacles after obstacles… This isn’t just “women’s right”, it is “human’s right”

Takeshi Kitano, a Japanese filmmaker that I admire, once said: “a disaster is not one event that kills twenty thousand humans; it is one human-killing event that happens twenty thousand times”. I think this quote tells people to understand and empathize based on a “human” perspective, rather than to treat humans as the background of a grand narrative.

We need to take note of another story. I saw in the news that the government of Guizhou province provided care kits to its medical aid team in Hubei. There were electric blankets, thermos mugs, thermal underwear, shampoo, body wash, hair dryers, nail clippers, and even two different kinds of slippers (cotton and shower slippers), as well as feminie products, such as sanitary pads. The Governor of the Guizhou province is a female.

I am very grateful for the existence of this kind of leader. But it is actually pathetic to expect good results on an individual’s competence and morals.

A nurse friend of mine told me a story. Her good friend is a nurse in the ICU and some patients in the ward would cough and yawn towards the nurses intentionally.

A former classmate told me that her uncle is still unwilling to wear face masks while strolling on the street and playing mahjong with other people. My classmate’s mother calls her little brother every day, trying her best to persuade him and intensely arguing with him, but all in vain. My classmate has to report to the mayor hotline where her uncle plays mahjong.

The community worker friend of mine tells me about an old man in their community. He tries different ways to get outside, argues with community workers and even spits to them, no matter how hard they try to convince him to stay at home.

I also saw videos online in which pedestrians were taken away by the police, who did not wear masks and did not listen to any advice.

My mind is quite messy. I used to consider reporting one’s own uncle would be a shameful and “anti-human” behavior. I would consider that overly-barbaric and violent enforcement violates human rights. But when I am being trapped in a cage by the virus, when we who obey the rules lose our freedom and serve “life sentence” because of those people who disobey the rules, I wish, deeply concealed in my heart, that there is an “alternative way” and an “obliging force” to make them obey the rules.

I do not want to be a hypocrite advocating power. I just do not know where to draw the line, and that may not be an answer I can give after all. Maybe the fundamental problem is we do not have the right to draw this line.

I ordered a Harry-Potter-themed Golden Snitch pendant at the end of last year. The shop assistant at the store tells me that the order has arrived today and I can pick it up when the outbreak is over.

I intended for it to be my new year’s present, but it could turn out to be a mid-year gift. Nevertheless, it feels not bad to be alive while expecting something wonderful.


今天原本是我期待很久的百老汇原版音乐剧The Lion King武汉首演的日子,也是全国首演,想当初我是守着开票时间抢了最心仪的位置,现在还有点恍惚的感觉。


我很喜欢的一部美剧The Good Doctor,第一季中有一个故事,病人是一个演色情片的大学女生,阴部病变,按照常规的、最直接的治疗方案可能因为影响神经而导致她永远失去高潮的感觉,而这部电视剧里医生们花了很多心思来保全她的感官。
















我在去年年底预订了一件Harry Potter的小飞贼吊坠,专柜销售员今天联系我已经到货了,疫情结束后可以去店里拿。


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